Talking too much can dilute your power—whether you’re in a high-stakes business meeting in Midtown or getting to know someone over cocktails in the East Village. “Always Say Less Than Necessary” may seem counterintuitive in a city where everyone fights to be heard, but strategic silence can give you the upper hand. Here’s how I see it playing out in both personal and social settings:
1. Make People Reveal More About Themselves
I’ve noticed that short, focused answers prompt others to keep talking. They fill the silence by sharing personal details—often more than they intended. When I’m on a date or mingling at an after-work event in Soho, I use this approach. People reveal their likes, dislikes, and even their weaknesses.
Dating Tip: If you’re meeting someone for coffee in Union Square, resist the urge to fill every gap. Let them talk. You’ll learn what truly motivates them, making it easier to connect—or walk away if it’s not a match.
2. People Listen/Interpret Every Word Carefully
By speaking less, I notice others hanging on to what I do say. They try to uncover a deeper meaning and often attribute more value to my words.
Dating Tip: Instead of rattling off your life story on the first date, share a single intriguing detail. This leaves them curious, wanting to know more.
3. Once the Words Are Out, You Can’t Take Them Back
In an age of screenshot culture and constant social media chatter, an ill-timed comment can follow you around. Being concise helps you stay in control.
Dating Tip: Avoid venting about exes or coworkers early on. Guard your words until trust is established. It prevents regret later if the conversation gets passed around mutual friends.
4. The More You Say, the More Common You Appear
We’ve all met the person who talks nonstop, dominating the conversation. It often comes off as trying too hard. When you speak intentionally, it signals confidence.
Dating Tip: Keep answers short and thoughtful, especially in group settings—like a busy happy hour in Midtown—so you stand out without seeming desperate for attention.
5. Silence Keeps You from Saying Something Foolish
We all have moments of frustration—maybe someone’s late, or they say something irritating. Speaking too soon can do real damage. Pausing before you respond keeps your cool intact.
Dating Tip: A measured response to a flaky date shows maturity. It’s far more attractive than a furious rant.
6. People Will Not Deceive You if They Don’t Know Your Position
Louis XIV famously used few words so no one could guess his intentions. The same principle can apply in modern social circles. When people can’t read you easily, they’re less likely to manipulate you.
Dating Tip: If you’re exploring multiple dating prospects, there’s no need to broadcast that. Keep your personal strategies discreet until you decide who’s earned your trust.
The Invitation
If you’re ready to experience a dating dynamic where thoughtful conversation replaces empty chatter, reach out. I value genuine curiosity, tactful communication, and the subtle power of saying less. Let’s meet in a low-key neighborhood spot—somewhere like a hidden wine bar in the Lower East Side—and see what unfolds when we engage with substance, not just noise. If that resonates with you, contact me, and let’s keep the dialogue concise, engaging, and meaningful. After all, in a city that never stops talking, a little silence can be your secret advantage.
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